Ladies 1st XI sign off in comfort. (So that was Christmas HO HO HO HIC !)

Prior to today’s match Nigel and I retired to the pub to discuss tactics pre our 2pm meet and our final encounter of the season at home v Belper.

We felt that as Rachael – prospective new Captain - appeared to favour the relaxed alcohol induced pre match routine, we would ascertain for ourselves its virtues and benefits.

The chairs were comfortable, the beer was cold, music was acceptable and we set about our thoughts for the days encounter.

What we didn’t anticipate was the strength of the Lager on an empty stomach and so the now infamous “CHRISTMAS TREE” formation was born. It looked brilliant on paper.

So we left the pub full of the joys knowing we had come up with a master-plan to beat any opposition put in front of us.

The meet went well with Rachael and Taran destroying Marie, Kath and Nigel in a combined game of Basketball and netball – neither side knew what rules the other was playing but it looked fun anyway.

So, Kath presented all on the wipe board with her artistic impression of the CHRISTMAS TREE formation along with who was playing where and the changes in normal playing position – to Nigel and I it looked unbeatable, this was a system we could adopt throughout next season and beyond, a system many International teams would soon hear of and emulate, we could be going down in history here as Hockey innovators, hopes were very high from the coaches – although there were A LOT of quizzical looks from the players.

So to the game…………..

Belper arrived with their usual young fit agile motivated squad of 14 looking to salvage something from a very difficult season – all credit to them its been an horrendous time for them having only got 2 draws all season and now facing THE CHRISTMAS TREE, they were clearly in for a long afternoon.

The whistle blows, Nigel and I shake hands and wish each other god luck – not that we needed it, how could our Lager inspired tactics fail.

74 seconds later the inevitable happened as BELPER TORE US APART AND TOOK THE LEAD !!!!

The colour drained from both Nigel's and my own face, 11 Asterdale players running around in a daze of confusion, all suddenly hating bloody Christmas, especially the Christmas tree !!!

Nigel and I held out for as long as we dare (we gave it another 3 minutes) and decided that maybe the RACHEL inspired pre-game routine was not for us and had potentially clouded our judgment. With a bowed head I called for the side to revert to our normal formation and players positions. Just 1 minute later Skaifey finished off a simple overlap move to score the equaliser.

Derby 1 – 1 Belper

Lesson has been learnt and point was firmly made !!!

From that moment we dominated the match and on 14 mins Rachael took us into the lead from close range with her 9th goal of the season to scenes of celebration from all. (& massive relief from the bench !)

Derby 2 - 1 Belper

At times during the season we have given prolonged glimpses of what we are capable of and our 3rd today typified everything we have worked on.

On 34 mins from Amanda at Left Back to the ball hitting the back of the Belper net took only 15 seconds, but what is remarkable about the goal is that it involved no fewer than 6 players touching the ball, around 10 passes amongst these players of no more than 6-8 meters, tearing at the heart of the Belper team from front to back, with the simplest of finishes from Taran leaving all the Derby supporters and the Belper players and parents applauding. A quite stunning goal.

Derby 3 – 1 Belper


½ time (phew)

I asked the players if they were comfortable about the current formation or if they wanted to return to the Christmas tree………… I can’t publish the answer !!!

The 2nd half saw Belper start with fire and did push us on to the back foot for short periods but we were always in control.

On 43 mins following a great attacking move from MOM Ali, her pass found Taran whose shot came in on goal only to be stopped on the line preventing a certain goal, penalty stroke !

As today was Marie’s final one as Captain I wanted to give her the opportunity to get herself on the score sheet and called her up to take it. The look on her face was priceless as she said “WHAT ME?!!!!” Nigel and I overheard her apologising to her fellow Derby players for missing – she hadn’t even taken it yet !

As she stepped up to face ex Derby player and goalkeeper Charlotte Howarth (a member of the successful Derby team that faced the Aussies in the summer) she looked determined. Marie stepped up and placed the ball right inside the left hand post, Charlotte however produced a stunning dive to somehow get a stick to it and prevent a certain goal. A well taken stroke but a brilliant save right out of the Lisa Book of Goalkeeping.

We continued to create chances but resolute defending and goalkeeping kept the score down. However on 57 minutes it was left to Rachael to finish the seasons scoring with her 10th of the season.

From a Penalty Corner the call from the bench was ELVIS. The ball was dragged out perfectly at good pace, Kath’s stop was solid, the player movement executed perfectly, the switch was made and Rachael slammed the ball home from 10 meters. Stunningly simple but hugely effective.

Derby 4 – 1 Belper

And that’s the way it finished folks.

Apart from the injuries, it looked like a war zone in the pub afterwards with Kaths Achilles completely ceased up, Bex requiring a new hip joint, Theresa with her huge black eye from this mornings game, Rachaels pulled groinal area from her attempt at the splits and Nigel and I with our very bruised ego’s (just a coffee for us thanks).

Note to self: Alcohol and tactics should be kept well apart and how the hell does Rachael manage it !


Coaches final final notes:

The whole team showed what we are about today. The joy and laughter was there for all to see throughout the pre match, the game itself and the post match celebrations as we secured 4th place.

We have been through hell and back the 2nd half of this season but we held it together to come out with our pride and spirit in tact.

I know I speak for Nigel as well as myself when I say thank you for the commitment, loyalty, team spirit, work ethic and understanding, its been a hell of a roller coaster but we have loved it.

From today’s game I want to thank Claire and Jo for coming back to watch along with those that sent there best wishes.

Todays MOM was massively deserved as Ali played out of her skin.

Todays Pants of Shame though was also massively deserved. Kellys backwards tracking run and subsequent falling flat on her ***e was compounded further in the pub as she declared that she was tripped by a Belper player – there was no player within 10 meters of her – but she also kept referring to Laura as LORRIE, she forgot her name! Its only been 3 years Kelly that you’ve been playing along side her. Funny. See you in the pants at the dinner !

A great way to finish the season with another win.

Thanks again all, I will submit a full end of season report in due course, see you all on the 9th.

Its been emotional

Just a note to say thankyou to everyone for another fab season! The final match seems to have come along scarily quickly.
I'm afraid that I need to have a little word about the 'Christmas Tree' formation... Now listen boys, I think you were slightly dazzled by the prettiness of the pattern it made (in your self imposed stupor) and therefore, were understandably unable to make rational decisions! Now that you are of more sound judgement, I am pleased that you have reflected well upon the sanity of your 'idea'. Let there be no more of that particular type!
A huge thankyou to Marie, who has been a super captain and really led by example!
Muchas gracias to Andy and Nigel for giving up your time to coach us unruly 'ladies', it has been no easy task, I know, but it is very much appreciated!
Finally, (mainly because I'm getting RSI through typing so much), thankyou to the ladies of the 1st team who have made this season such a pleasure. You are a super bunch of players and I have really enjoyed living the ups and downs with you all.
Roll on next season!
Kath